Update 4

Time flies really fast I had met Sameer on Monday and now its Friday, the day of my marriage oops the day of our marriage. In these four days a lot has happened. To begin with, Sameer never called me neither tried meeting me and all these things were increasing my anxiety. In short it was just making me more negative. I shouldn’t think negative but can’t help it, the way the situation is its compelling me to think negatively.

I don’t know why like every bride, I wasn’t as enthusiastic as I should have been, may be the negative thoughts in my mind were the reason of less enthusiasm. It has to be that only I can’t think of any other reason. I also want to enjoy, like any normal bride would do but like always my destiny doesn’t want it like that, it wants me to feel negative and spoil my memories. Why cant these negative vibes just leave me alone atleast till my wedding, or perhaps they are hinting me something and I am failing to recognize them.

Why these negative vibes affecting me? Since childhood I never dreamt of my prince charming nor for my marriage, my fears that my dreams would shatter, I never dared to dream then why an unknown fear is there in me.

Even though I never dreamt of my marriage I always wanted a traditional marriage with all the functions but like always, destiny never cared about my wishes or happiness. Thank god I never dreamt nor thought of my prince charming otherwise I would have surely faced a break down.

Coming to my next thing which happened in these days was, when Munna and Swati came to know about my marriage they were hyperventilated. They bombarded me with lots of questions as to how can I agree to marry a complete stranger without knowing him etc. etc.

I didn’t wanted to tell them that he was not a stranger in fact he was in our school and I had a crush on him. If I tell them then, they would tell Sameer about it and I myself want to tell him this. I want to see his expressions when I’ll tell him he was my one and only crush. He would smile hearing this or perhaps can even blush and I want to witness that feeling first hand.

They even gave me lectures that I should protest against this marriage. I don’t know why they were even wasting their energy when they know these lectures are falling in deaf ears.

The biggest shock came to me when they said they would attend my wedding but not with their heart. They also said they would not talk with me, just because I didn’t protest against this marriage. I even had to go alone for the shopping as Swati refused to accompany me. Why can’t they understand I can’t hurt papa no matter how much rude he is.

Papa had given me some money for shopping but I just didn’t feel like using that money instead I bought a simple yet elegant saree from my salary along with few jewelry. I just hoped while buying all these things that sameer wont mind seeing me in simple yet elegant saree with few jewelry only. I wanted to know his vision of his bride, I wanted to dress like that but we never talked so I went ahead and bought things which I thought looks good on me. I can only pray sameer liked this, I don’t want to upset him, I don’t have a heart to see him like that.

I so wished Swati could have come, I felt so lonely that day. But alas things were not in my favour during these four days.

I was getting reading for the marriage when I heard a knock on my door. When I opened the door, ramu kaka was standing at the door and I smiled seeing him. Since childhood he was the only one who was taking care of me.

“bitiya saab ne kaha hai ki time ho gaya hai or apko neeche bulaya hai”

I told him that I am ready and would come down in two minutes. When he started leaving, I called him and he stopped. I walked towards the cupboard, took out the money which dad had given me for the shopping and I gave it to ramu kaka.

He looked at me with confusion written on his face. I smiled and told him that this money was given to me by papa for buying clothes for the marriage but I did not use them as I didn’t feel like using it. I asked him to return it to papa after he comes back from the court. After ramu kaka left I went and stood in front of my mother’s photograph

“Mom aaj meri shaadi hai or aaj mien apko sabse zyada miss kar rahi hoon kash aap aaj hamare beech hoti inn khushiyon ko share karne ke liye. Mom itne din se mere dimaag main ek baat thi shayad mien papa ko achi nahiin lagti tabhi vo mujhse baat nahiin karte apka toh bahana hai ki meri vajay se aap unse door hui hain. Mien shayad boht buri hoon tabhi vo mujhse baat nahiin karte ya meri shakal nahiin dekhna chahte. Aaj mien iss ghar se jaa rahi hoon mom hamesha ke liye mien apni shakal ab papa ko kabhi nahiin dikhaongi unhe kabhi takleef nahiin doongi apni shakal dikha ke, aap yahiin rehna papa ke saath he’ll need you bye mom”.

The entire journey to court I kept glancing at papa as I knew I would never ever get to see him from such close distance again. I would now be able to see him only through media or at some party.

My thoughts came to a halt as the car stopped in front of the court. My heart started beating fast, I don’t know why but it was beating at a faster rate than before. I came out of the car and found Sameer and his family were already standing there and waiting for us.

Papa and I walked towards them. I heard papa saying “sorry Bobby to keep you waiting actually we were stuck in a traffic jam”.

“It’s ok we just reached a minute ago we didn’t have to wait for long” Bobby uncle replied.

“Aaj Naina toh boht khoobsoorat lag rahi hai” vishakha aunty said to me.

I smiled and looked down at the floor as for the first time someone was complimenting me other than Munna and Swati.

“Andar chale judge must be waiting too” I heard papa saying.

We started walking towards the court and in between I glanced at Sameer he was using his phone. Sameer was wearing a black coat red shirt and a black pant. Atleast red was common between us without even deciding it as I too was wearing a red saree. We reached the room, the judge was sitting on his chair and two chairs were kept for Sameer and me to sit I believe.

I looked around and found Munna and swati standing at a corner with no smile on their faces. They had blank expressions. I sighed.

Papa and Sameer’s parents were standing next to each other behind the chairs.

I went towards my friends and hugged them.

I smiled and said “I know you guys aren’t happy with my decision and I promise I won’t meet you after my wedding or stay in contact, so that you guys don’t feel bad because of my decision. I am starting a new life today and think that I am happy in it nothing else. Yeah I will never make new friends as you guys will remain my friends forever”. I hugged them for the last time and walked towards the table to start a new life leaving behind my sad past and my most loved friends.