Update 5

I signed the legal document that said, now I am married and my name changed from Naina Agarwal to Naina Sameer Maheshwari. The last string that attached my father and me was finally broken, had my father been different I would have tried keeping both agarwal and maheshwari as my surname. But reality is my father hates me, it’s better to step into new chapter of my life with new identity. I heard people clapping including my friend’s Munna and Swati and this broke my reverie. I heard my papa saying congratulations to Sameer’s parents by hugging them. His smile on the face wasn’t fake it was from heart. I am glad that before disconnecting forever I saw him smiling, which was rare and whenever I would remember him this smiling face would be the only thing I’ll remember. His voice held some unknown happiness I wonder whether he was genuinely happy with my marriage or was happy that I’ll no longer be staying in the same house with him.

For the first and last time ever, he was happy because of me. Fortunately or unfortunately the reason was not that great, he must be happy because I would be leaving the house forever. A part of my heart wanted it to be wrong but alas. What mattered was he was happy and that too because of me. if the thought of me leaving the house was making him smile I have no problem with that I’ll cherish this smiling and laughing face till my last breath.

I sighed and for the first time ever during the entire process of marriage, I looked at Sameer who was looking towards his parents. Suddenly I heard Sameer’s mom’s voice, she was saying to Sameer to take blessings from my papa. He looked towards me and my breath got stuck for few seconds before calming my increasing heartbeat. I smiled at him and then we walked towards papa.

I was very nervous because I didn’t know whether he’ll like it or not. But then Sameer and his parents were also around I don’t think he’ll behave differently, something that would raise questions. I was extremely excited now because this would be the first time and probably also the last time I’ll ever get his blessings. By agreeing for this marriage, I haven’t taken a wrong decision perhaps because it gave me something that I could only dream of getting it.

Sameer and I bent down to take his blessings but the leg which I was about to touch moved a centimeter away from its original place. That very moment I understood he doesn’t wants to bless me and I just wished Sameer hasn’t seen this. Perhaps some dreams are meant to remain a dream but I am glad at least half of my dream came true I saw him smiling especially when it is related to me.

Just to make things normal I pretended I touched his feet and then stood straight with my eyes still looking towards the floor. Papa hugged Sameer and at that moment I felt weak or rather vulnerable, tears started forming in my eyes. I was about to move from the place when suddenly I was pulled into a hug by my friends. I knew it they would always support me and be on my side. I hugged them tightly, I would miss their love, their care and their presence in my life. I don’t know what future holds for me.

Munna whispered in my ears “all the best for your new life even though you know we are against this marriage but still hope and pray you get all the happiness”.

Then Swati whispered “ye mat samajna ki hamari dosti toot gayi hai tune jo decision liya hai shayad sahi hai hum agar roz tujhe iss shaadi ke khilaaf bolenge toh shayad tujhe takleef ho nayi zindagi main adjust karne main, aur hain sirf thode time ke liye hi tujhse door rahenge lekin uske baad ek pal bhi nahiin samjhi aur koi bhi problem ho toh hume yaad kar lena, we are always with you”.

I was speechless for a moment they understood why I asked them not to remain in contact with me. They truly are my best friends. Till I adjust in new life and go back to them I won’t make new friends.

I came out of my thoughts when I heard Munna Swati congratulating Sameer and asking him to take care of me. I so wanted to cry at that moment but somehow controlled it.

I then moved towards Sameer’s parents and touched their feet. They happily gave me blessings and vishakha aunty Sameer’s mom hugged me. I smiled because for the first time I felt the warmth of a mother. I could see a mother figure in her, which was missing from my life. Would my destiny bless me now with a mother’s love and care? Would this decision of marrying sameer change my life forever? Would I ever smile without thinking that something bad would happen?

Again I felt weak, wish mom would have been here then happily papa would have blessed me too for my new life, but alas something’s are not meant to happen and this was one of them perhaps.

After taking blessings from everyone we left the court and went to nearby restaurant for celebrating it. The food was served, we were sitting on a round table. Sameer and I were sitting next to each other, whereas his parents and my father were sitting opposite us. Munna and Swati were sitting next to me and probably those were Sameer’s friends who were sitting next to him. Then it hit me his friends didn’t wish me like munna and swati wished sameer as well, forget wish they didn’t even talk to me. Is this supposed to be a bad sign? No I can’t be negative especially today when a new chapter was about to begin in my life. I had to keep thinking of positive things no negative thoughts.

That’s when I also realized that I know nothing about Sameer’s life and neither he knows about me, I guess this is what arrange marriage means. But even in arrange marriage couples do know something about each other if not fully. Here I don’t even know anything other than his name Sameer Maheshwari and that he was in my school. I agree we were in same batch but never in the same section so I hardly know anything about him. All I know, he was the most popular student in the school. He had won many competitions during school days because his name was often called in assemblies for appreciating him. Also he was famous for good looks and I was one of his admirer. Wish I was more attentive in listening to the names of competition that he used to participate rather than drooling over him or thinking of us together as a couple. At least this became reality. I don’t know if Sameer has seen me in school or not but may be this could be my destiny’s hint that happiness would finally knock my door.

Thankfully neither his nor my friends teased us otherwise it would have been a little awkward. I ate my food in pure silence though papa was talking with Sameer’s parents and Sameer in between was replying to his friends. Munna and Swati were just giving me space so that reality syncs in me that I am married. I am happy that they are my best friends because they understand me completely.

Finally the time for my bidaai came. I have seen and heard a lot that every girl cries on her bidaai because she was stepping in a new life, new home, new environment, would be among new people. She is scared as well as excited, happy to start a new life and sad because she had to leave her parents, who have always protected her from every problem. Though they would continue protecting her but staying together twenty four seven and talking daily on phone has a difference in many ways.

But me? I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad. Happy because now I wouldn’t have to stay in the house where there is no love and sad because I would not be able to get a glimpse of my father every day. Even though I never come in front of him as he doesn’t like it still I could see him every day.

Swati kept a hand on my shoulder and it brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at her and saw her shaking her head conveying ‘not to cry’. I smiled at her and sat inside the car. I saw my father for the last time before the car started towards its journey, my new journey. A new chapter of my life was about to begin and I can only hope that this new beginning brings loads of happiness along with it.